I have come to the nifty and utterly rational conclusion that I am unlovable (don’t start, my head is not listening to reason at the moment) and part of my reasoning of this is that every one of my exes, from age 18 onwards, has gone from me straight to the person that has turned out to be The One. Every one of them is now married to/living with/has children with the next person they have gone out with after me and is still with them. And the reason all bar one of these relationships broke down was because the other person didn’t want to get married/live with/have children with anyone. (See, there is actually some random logic behind my innately-unlovable reasoning)
This (and vodka) led to me declaring myself The Penultimate.
I have finally discovered my superpower. I knew I had one.
The costume comes with a large letter P on the front, and I of course get a cape (The Incredibles be damned – I am totally willing to take the risk for a cape). And with great power, comes great responsibility…
So, this is how it works. If you are looking for The One, all you have to do is date me for anything from 18 months to five years, have the relationship end, and the next person you start dating will be The One. See, it’s very simple.
Now, the other really important thing is that we were laughing quite lot by this point so didn’t get any further with my costume design, and costumes are very important for superheroes. Any suggestions for colour options or designs are loved. Draw me a picture of my The Penultimate costume and you will get huge cyber snogs. Include a corset in the costume and you will get a cyber snogs and pretty much total adoration.