Ianto's Last Secret 3/7 + epilogue
May. 28th, 2010 01:29 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jooles34Title: Ianto’s Last Secret
Characters: Jack, Gwen, OC, and Ianto
Rating: 15 – mainly for themes and language.
Synopsis: Most people take their secrets to the grave with them, but not Ianto Jones.
Word count: 1050
Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own Torchwood.
AN: This is a post COE fic (we say euphemistically) and I don’t want to give too much away, but for this to work you do need to ignore the last four minutes of Day Five with Jack and Gwen on the hill. It is set about two-three weeks after the events of COE.
When Carys returned Gwen lifted her head from where it had been resting on her folded arms. She gave the mug set in front of her a look of confusion.
“That’s not coffee.”
“No. You’re pregnant. You’ve had enough coffee. It’s hot chocolate. The proper stuff of course; made from actual chocolate. And look; I got you marshmallows on the top.”
Gwen looked up, a fresh wave of sadness washing over her.
“That’s the sort of thing he would have done. This is how it would have been isn’t it? Ianto...he...” Gwen trailed off, unable to finish the thought.
Carys gave her a small smile. “He would have loved you being pregnant, and yes he would have doted on you.”
Gwen couldn’t help but give a small smile herself. “Bloody hell, he would have driven me mad.” The smile faded again. “But that’s not what we’re here to talk about is it?”
Carys covered Gwen’s hand with her own and Gwen found herself staring into a pair of blue eyes that frightened her with their intensity and familiarity.
“No.”
Gwen pulled back her had and took a sip of her hot chocolate. She peered at Carys over the top of the mug, trying to pretend she wasn’t hiding behind it.
“The beginning then.”
“The beginning. I am from a system many light years from Earth. The nearest translation for our name in your language is an Abstract. I was nothing more than a vessel and an inscription when Ianto came to me in the archives at Torchwood One. I was just a thought, a concept. I need to be believed in to become corporeal. You have a saying here that something has to be seen to be believed; I have to be believed to be seen. But no-one on this planet ever believes. I became a joke, an initiation among new staff. The number of people that opened my vessel but could never really believe...
“But Ianto believed in me. Amazing, open minded Ianto. All that faith, all that heart. He heard the rumours and sought me out and believed. And he made me exist. As his belief created me it formed an immediate psychic link between us. As long as he believed in me I would be. It also meant that I have all his thoughts; his feelings, his memories. I can have my own life, but I feel his too.
“He helped create me a life. Named me so I could be his sister. That was easy as I knew all about him; could adjust my form so I looked like him. Ianto made me fake documents and got me a job with Torchwood One. I lived with him and Lisa. No-one knew what I really was. When the battle came I was protected. Neither the daleks or the cybermen could get a fix on me or what I was, but knew I wasn’t human, so left me alone. I managed to get to Ianto and we fought together. We tried to get to Lisa, but...”
Gwen held up a hand to interrupt. “You knew about Lisa? What happened to her in Canary Wharf?”
“Of course. Who do you think helped him? But after what you all did to her Ianto didn’t trust anyone enough to tell them about me. Then when he did trust it had just gone on too long, so it was easier if I stayed a secret.”
Gwen shook her head and ran her hands down her face again as the tiredness fell back on her shoulders. Why? Why had he kept so much from them? Why did it have to hurt so much? As if losing him wasn’t bad enough, now she was finding out she barely knew the man that she had called friend. She couldn’t take this. She wasn’t ready for this.
“Why are you telling me this? Why aren’t you telling Jack?”
“Because Jack isn’t ready to hear this from me yet. He’d never trust me. He needs to hear it from you.”
“And how do you know that?”
“I’m based on thought remember? I’m a telepath. I can read thoughts. It’s not like you see in films, I can’t hear you talking in your head. But I feel your emotions, your ideas, where you are headed and where you’ve been. That’s how I experienced the funeral.” She paused, a far away look coming into her eyes; pained, but almost pleased. “There was sorrow; so much sorrow. But there was so much love.”
“There were only seven people there.” Gwen spat.
“But they loved him. He was so loved by you all. And he knew that.” Carys gave Gwen a firm look; “But you are avoiding the point.”
Gwen ignored the look. “You may think that Jack isn’t ready, but what’s to say I am? I lost him too.”
“Because I can feel it Gwen. You are heartbroken, but you are not blinded by your grief. You have a life inside you that makes you realise you have to carry on. You know that one day, one day far away you will get past this. That’s why you came here. You’re ready to remember the good times, not just focus on the loss. And that’s why you are the person that has to make this happen.”
“I can’t make anything happen. There is nothing left to happen.”
“You’re missing it Gwen. You’re missing the most important thing of all.”
“No.” Gwen shook her head, her body deflating with a deep sigh. “No, I haven’t missed it.” she looked up. “I just don’t know what to do about it.” Her eyes held a look of desperation, she felt lost.
Carys reached out a hand to touch her. “You need to face it.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Under the weight of her grief Gwen crept back into her denial as a tear slipped down her cheek.
“Gwen. I exist purely because Ianto believed in me. As soon as he died I should have gone, the psychic link broken. But I’m still here Gwen Cooper. So somewhere, somehow, out there, there’s still a little piece of Ianto; still existing, still being, still believing; just waiting to be found. If he still believes in me, then I still believe in him.”
AN - I admit, I was originally intending to end the fic here, intended only as a hope fic rather than it having a proper resolution...but I've got carried away with the story and have got a far better response to it than I ever thought I would, so there is more coming...
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2010-05-28 12:36 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2010-05-28 12:47 am (UTC)MORE NOW! DROP WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND WRITE IT!!!
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Date: 2010-05-28 12:54 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2010-05-28 01:06 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2010-05-28 01:21 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2010-05-28 01:45 am (UTC)And now, I present, the penguin smiley face who asks you to write more (cause *who* could resist such a creature?) <(")
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Date: 2010-05-28 02:11 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2010-05-28 02:14 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2010-05-28 04:31 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2010-05-28 05:15 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2010-05-28 06:51 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2010-05-28 09:15 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2010-05-28 09:45 am (UTC)so she is something like Adam? is this not trouble?
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Date: 2010-05-28 10:03 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2010-05-29 12:28 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2010-05-30 08:51 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2010-06-06 11:20 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2010-08-10 06:18 pm (UTC)it's so much left: a piece of Ianto is still there! I believe