Drawing the Short Straw

[jooles34]

Title: Drawing the Short Straw
Fandom: Primeval
Characters: Connor/Becker, Ditzy
Words: 5.032
Rating, Warnings: PG
Disclaimer: Nope, don't own Primeval.
Spoilers: None. Set early Season 3
AN: Written for deinonychus_1 in the primeval_denial secret Santa fic madness fest. Happy Christmas, I hope you like it. Sorry about the PG thing. The boys took the fluffy part of the prompt very seriously.
AN2: Muchos thanks to fredbassett for a fab beta and the use of Ditzy.

Connor huddled further down into his oversized parka and glared at the world in general.

"Stop sulking," came Becker’s voice from behind him.

"I’m not sulking," Connor retorted, seemingly sinking further into the canvas stool he was perched on.

"Yes you are." There was a hint of humour in Becker's voice now and Connor pulled a face at empty air by way of a response. But the silence didn't last for long.

"Well, it’s not fair that on the coldest day of the year we're left alone to guard an anomaly in the middle of nowhere."

"It’s your own fault that you were so distracted by your computer you were the last one of your lot to volunteer yourself back to the ARC."

Connor humphed. "What about you? Why are you here?"

"We pulled lots."

"And you won?"

Becker fingered the traitorous slip of paper in his pocket. "I suppose I must have done," he said blandly.

“So what are we supposed to do now?”

“Well, you and your gadgets guard the anomaly and I guard you.”

Connor turned to retort and saw the ghost of a grin that Becker was allowing to play on his lips.

“You know I’ll have the locking device finished soon and then we won’t have to do this any more.”

“I know, Connor.”

“But the likelihood of anything coming through in this weather is minimal, and if they do they’ll probably be sensible enough to turn around and go back again,” Connor grumbled into his parka.

Becker smiled again, then shivered as a gust of wind blew the cold air right through him and a fresh wave of snow into his face. He gripped his gun tighter to him and squinted as he looked into the distance. There was already snow on the ground and it had been falling in flurries throughout the day, but as Becker looked at the sky and felt the way the wind was picking up, another thought occurred to him.

“Connor, how long will it take you to pack up the rest of your equipment?” he called over his shoulder.

“I dunno. Few minutes.”

“Then start doing it.”

“What?”

“Listen to me, Connor, just get your stuff packed up as quick as you can.”

Becker turned and saw a confused expression on Connor’s face, but he was already starting to do as he was asked. Becker carried on watching the sky and as he had feared the wind and the snow picked up in just the few minutes they waited.

“I’m done,” Connor said.

“Right, I think it’s time we got out of here.”

“Are we running away?”

“Let’s think of it as a tactical retreat. Leave the stool, come on.”

“Where are we going?”

“I saw a cabin about a mile from here on the reccy earlier. The compass may not be useful but I can remember the coordinates and can use the GPS to get us there.”

Becker grabbed the pack from Connor and hefted it onto his back, pulling his radio off the front of his jacket.

“Becker to mobile base one, receiving? Over.”

“Mobile base one receiving, over.”

“Mobile base one, we have weather moving in. I’m getting Temple and I to a safe position to wait it out. You’ll never get the vehicles back up here.” Becker read out the co-ordinates as the pair started walking.

“All received, Captain; we’ll get a unit to you as soon as it’s safe. Over.”

“Roger. Hopefully see you in the morning. Becker out.”

Even by the time the short conversation was over the wind had picked up even more and the visibility had diminished even further. Walking, which had been difficult enough in the snow before, was even harder now. Becker and Connor struggled through the snow, heads down against the wind, barely able to see a couple of steps ahead of them. Becker had the shoulder of Connor’s parka clenched in his fist to keep them close. As they dragged themselves through the snow Becker kept checking his GPS to get his bearings.

As he glanced at it again, realising they were nearing where he figured the cabin to be, he just had time to register that the ground felt slightly different under his feet before, with a cut off cry, Connor was torn from his grasp.

Connor crashed down through a layer of ice over water neither of them had seen under the snow. Becker dropped to the ground as gracefully as he could, spreading his body-weight out over as greater area as possible. He reached his hands out as Connor bobbed to the surface, mouth open in an airless gasp. Becker grabbed hold of his parka and pulled as hard as he could, hoping that the ice beneath him would hold under their weight.

Connor could do little more than reach out to him as Becker dragged him out, the position making it awkward and the weight of the water in Connor’s clothes making him heavier. But with brute force he managed. Becker dragged them both to where the ground felt stable again before getting to his knees. He rolled Connor onto his back and grabbed his face.

“Connor, Connor, look at me. Are you okay?”

Connor’s body was shaking and his teeth were chattering behind blue lips. But he managed to look up at Becker and nod. In response Becker got to his feet and leant down to haul Connor up.

“Come on, Connor, we’re close, so close. We’ve got to get you in the warm, okay Connor?”

Connor nodded again and Becker wrapped an arm around his shoulders, trying to quicken their pace through the snow. But the cold was getting to Connor quickly, the icy water that saturated his clothes getting colder in the air. Within just a few minutes Connor was starting to stumble, his co-ordination beginning to fail. Becker kept urging him forwards until they finally came to cabin. Becker realised that it was in fact little more than a hut. He tried the door and it opened; clearly no one felt the need to use locks in an area this remote.

Becker dragged Connor inside and kicked the door shut again. The door had opened into a small room that on his first glance held a sofa, a cabinet, a small kitchenette and an open fire. He stood Connor in the middle of the room and headed straight for the cabinet breathing a sigh of relief when he found a pile of blankets amongst the other bits and pieces inside. Becker shrugged off his gun and the back pack of equipment, throwing them in a corner, before turning his attention back to Connor.

Connor hadn't moved and had stopped shivering. Becker swore under his breath; it was not a good sign. He unzipped Connor's parka and pulled it off his body. Connor was completely cooperative and pliant. Becker worked quicker. He pulled Connor's clothes from his top half, grabbed one of the blankets and wrapped it tightly around Connor's shoulders.

He folded a blanket and put it on the floor in front of the sofa that faced the fire. He undid Connor's trousers and then manoeuvred him down into a sitting position on the blanket, in front of the empty fire, leaning back against the sofa. Becker removed Connor's shoes and socks, before moving up and yanking his trousers and underwear off, peeling them away from his skin. Connor made a small noise of protest which gave Becker a brief shot of relief.

Becker grabbed more blankets and wrapped them tightly around Connor's body, legs and feet. He pulled his own hat off and jammed it onto Connor’s head. It wasn’t ideal as his hair was still wet, but it would prevent any more heat escaping. Reluctantly leaving him, Becker headed for the fire place and was relieved to find a well stocked wood pile. He called over to Connor from the fire place.

“I need you to talk to me, Connor.”

He received a confused noise in response.

“Connor, talk to me. This is the only time I’m ever going to not tell you to shut up, so make the most of it.”

Becker glanced back at Connor as he started building the fire and noticed that he was starting to shiver now that he was out of his wet clothes.

“Come on, Connor. Tell me about your favourite dinosaur or something.”

“Fav’rite what?”

“Dinosaur, Connor, your favourite dinosaur.”

“Don’t have a favourite.”

Becker had thrown together a hasty tepee fire and lit the kindling with a box of matches that were next to wood pile. He hastily erected another two-layer tepee of wood of graduating sizes over the top, close enough that it would catch, but not so close it would smother the fledgling flames. Hopefully it wouldn’t take too long to start producing heat. Becker stood and headed back towards Connor, starting to remove his own clothes.

“You must have a favourite; you’re the dinosaur geek.”

“Too many.” Connor was still slurring his words slightly and Becker needed more than these short sentences out of him.

Becker had quickly stripped down to his underwear and socks.

“What about when you were a kid?  Bet you had a favourite when you were a kid.”

He wrapped a blanket around his own shoulders, nudged Connor forwards and sat behind him, legs splayed either side of Connor. He moved the blankets away from Connor and pulled him bodily back against him. Becker hissed as the freezing skin of Connor's back rested against his chest, but he gritted his teeth and rearranged the blankets so they were wrapped up together, Connor pressed against him and swaddled as effectively as he could manage.

“Triceratops.”

“Triceratops? Why was that your favourite?”

Becker pulled his hands inside the blankets and found Connor's hands. He gripped one each in his and crossed both their arms across Connor's chest. He held Connor tight and gently rubbed his fingers, keeping the circulation going.

“Vegetarian with huge horns. I thought it was funny.”

Becker couldn’t help but huff a laugh.

“That thing with the huge horns ate grass?”

“No grass in the Cretaceous.”

“I stand corrected. Tell me more.”

The fire was growing and the flames were starting to lick up the larger prices of wood now. Becker leant back against the sofa, pulling Connor with him, getting as comfortable as he could. He kept talking to Connor, asking questions, prodding for responses as the room gradually began to warm up around them.

After a while, Connor’s skin started to warm up against his and his teeth were no longer chattering and the shivers in his body had mainly ceased. Becker extracted himself from the blankets again and headed to the kitchenette. He boiled some water, pouring a cup for both of them before adding half again of cold water for Connor so the drink wouldn’t be a shock to his system. He stirred in some hardened sugar he found in packet on the side.

He brought the cups back over and took the opportunity to re-stock the fire before sliding himself behind Connor again. This time Connor was able to manoeuvre himself better to help, before Becker once again rearranged the blankets around them so they could both drink the warm liquid.

As they continued to talk and drink Connor began to come back more into himself. Becker still had his arms wrapped protectively around Connor’s body and he refused to think too much about how good the other man’s body felt pressed against his.

After a while Connor sighed against him.

“Becker, can I stop talking and go to sleep yet?”

Becker slid his hand up Connor’s wrist and felt for his pulse. It was strong and steady and Connor certainly seemed lucid.

“Okay, but we need to keep warm, so we’re going to have to stay here together.”

“Fine. I just want to sleep.”

Connor reached up and pulled the hat off his head, his hair mostly dried by now. He shifted under the blankets so he was slightly side-on to Becker, his head resting against his shoulder and his legs hooked over Becker’s. Becker adjusted his grip accordingly.

“Night, Becker.”

“Good night, Connor.”

Becker stayed still and quiet. He could feel Connor’s body gradually relaxing in his grip and felt his breathing deepen and slow. For the first time since Connor had gone into the water Becker let his guard drop. His shoulders slumped and he tightened his arms around Connor’s body. He lowered his face to Connor’s head.

“Never scare me like that again,” he whispered into Connor’s hair. He pressed his lips to Connor’s head and held them there for a couple of seconds, trying to push what-might-have-beens from his mind.

He completely missed the contented smile that crept onto Connor’s face.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

An hour later the fire was starting to die and Becker was beginning to go numb in places he didn’t want to be numb. There was no choice in his mind, he had to move. He nudged Connor gently.

“Conn. Connor? We need to move.”

Connor mumbled something into his chest and Becker couldn’t help but give a fond smile. He pulled a hand out from the blankets and stroked Connor’s hair.

“Come on, Connor. I’m sorry but we need to get the fire going again and I need to not be sitting for a minute. Why don’t you get onto the sofa and sleep up there?”

As he spoke Becker started to extract himself from under Connor and the blankets.

“’s not enough blankets for that,” Connor mumbled, but he stood up and stretched, seemingly unconcerned about his nakedness. Becker averted his eyes and pulled himself up, heading for the fire.

“Um, Becker?”

Becker risked a glance over his shoulder and as relieved to see that Connor now had a blanket around him again.

“Is there a loo in here? I…ah…kinda need to…”

“Didn’t see one. There might be one outside, but you’re not setting foot outside that door. Use the sink.”

“That’s gross!”

“Then wet yourself where you stand. See if I care.”

Becker did care quite a lot as he was going to have to sleep there, but he didn’t think he’d really have to worry about it.

“Fine,” Connor mumbled again and headed towards the kitchen area.

Becker continued busying himself with the fire, stoking the remains and loading it with more wood. A moment later he was aware of Connor standing over him again.

“Thank you, you know, for everything. You saved my life didn’t you?”

“It’s what I’m paid for, Connor.”

“No, you’re paid to be head of security, not to look after me when I fall into ponds.”

Becker refused to look at him.

“It was nothing, Connor; just doing my job. Now make yourself comfortable on the sofa. I’ll get dressed again and take the floor.” He stood and pushed past a confused looking Connor and took his own turn at the sink.

Hearing strange noises from behind him, he turned over his shoulder. Connor had thrown all the beaten up cushions off the sofa and was tugging at it with one hand while the other gripped a blanket around him.

“What are you doing?”

“It’s a sofa bed,” Connor stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Connor gave one more tug and the sofa started to unfold. Becker finished what he was doing and ran the tap for a bit before heading over to look at Connor’s discovery. The mattress was laughably thin and contained more stains than Becker was really happy to think about. The floor would probably be comfier.

But Connor had already plucked a blanket from the pile on the floor and was spreading it on the mattress, continuing to talk.

“Besides. What if I have a relapse? I’ll need the body heat. I’m already feeling chilly you know.”

Becker shook his head in exasperation, ignoring Connor’s grin.

“Fine. The heat will be conserved better if we’re both on there. But I don’t snuggle.” He gave Connor a mock glare and received another grin.

Connor heaped the remaining blankets onto the bed and flattened them out over himself and across the bed. Becker waited until he had lain down before climbing into the bed on the other side.

“Goodnight then,” Connor said.

“Night,” Becker replied.

He lay flat on his back, trying to ignore the gap between him and the other man. Connor was close, so close and yet the few inches separating them on the narrow bed felt like a chasm. Becker closed his eyes and willed himself to sleep.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

It was a few hours later and Becker started to rouse slowly. Connor’s body was warm and pressed close against his and his own arms were wrapped tightly around him. As Becker’s senses came back to him he knew he should move, should stop this now, but it felt good and he couldn’t bring himself to. Besides, the fire had gone out and the air in the cabin was chilled and his pleasures in life were small and Connor was asleep and where was the harm?

Connor shifted in his sleep and his body moved against Becker. Becker suddenly had to grit his teeth to stop himself from responding to the movement of skin against skin. Connor’s head was leaning on his shoulder and Becker could feel breath ghosting across his neck. Then Connor’s lips were on his skin, a gentle kiss pressed against his throat. It was all Becker could do to not groan and arch his body into the contact. But another kiss to the same spot and Connor’s fingers skimming over his hip drew a low moan from him and he turned his head towards Connor.

Connor’s next kiss was higher, placed under Becker’s jaw. Then Connor’s held tilted up and their lips were now millimetres apart. Becker was breathing heavily, his whole body starting to hum with anticipation. He closed his eyes and gave in as they breathed each other in, neither of them moving, lips so close Becker could almost feel the touch of them already.

Then Connor moved minutely, closing the last gap between their mouths. It was gentle, soft and hesitant and Becker was certain his heart was hammering so hard it would punch itself out of his chest. It was nothing more than a meeting of lips but Becker felt like an electric charge was flowing between them.

“Mobile base one to Captain Becker. Are you receiving? Over.”

Becker jumped at the sound and jerked backwards from Connor. Connor’s eyes were wide open in surprise and Becker stared at him dumbly for a second.

“Mobile base one to Captain Becker. Are you receiving? Over.”

When his radio squawked again, Becker dived from the bed and scrabbled to get his radio from his pile of clothes.

“Becker receiving, over.”

“Becker. Thank Christ. The light’s improving and the snow has cleared. We’re getting a team en route to you now. Are you and Temple still both okay? Over.”

“Temple and I are fine. Temple will need a change of clothes though. And we could both do with breakfast, over.”

A laugh huffed through the radio. “Roger that Captain. They’ll be with you soon. Mobile base one out.”

Becker didn’t turn around, but instead put done his radio and started pulling on his clothes.

“The team will be with us soon. Keep wrapped in the blankets, I’ve asked them to bring you some clothes.”

“I heard.” Connor’s voice was quiet behind him.

“So, I’ll just get this place straightened up.” Becker finished dressing and moved towards the remnants of the fire, spreading them out to make sure it was out. He started working his way around the small cabin straightening all they had touched and resolutely ignoring Connor who had now pulled himself into a sitting position, knees tucked into his chest, surrounded by the blankets. And he was absolutely not looking at the confused expression on the other man’s face.

The silence in the small room was oppressive but Becker studiously ignored that too. Connor had climbed off the bed and, wrapped in a blanket still, was sorting his damp clothes out to take with him. Becker busied himself with tidying up the remaining blankets and putting the sofa bed back together again. The rescue party were only a few miles away, but with the amount of snow Becker assumed had fallen over night, even with a 4x4 it would take a while to reach them.

Despite the cold Becker was starting to consider heading outside to wait just to get away from the tension in the room, when he heard the sound of a motor.

“Get you’re stuff. They’re nearly here.”

“Right,” said Connor.

His voice sounded so flat that a pang of guilt flashed through Becker’s chest. It felt a bit like kicking a puppy. But he bit it down and finished putting the rest of his gear on in preparation for heading out.

“I’ll go and meet them, get you some clothes. Don’t want you heading out in that.”

“Of course.”

Becker didn’t even look over his shoulder as he headed outside.

The Landrover was nearly at the cabin now, and Becker gave them a wave. Before it had stopped, Ditzy jumped out of the back, a rucksack in his hands. He did his best to run to Becker through the knee deep snow.

“Captain! Are you both okay? I got worried when you said you needed a change of clothes.”

“Connor fell in some water last night; hypothermia. But he’s pretty well thawed out now. I think I got him warmed up before any permanent damage was done, but come and have a look.”

Becker walked him to the door and opened it.

“You go in, I’ll give you some privacy,” Becker said.

“Okay, I’ll give him a quick once over now a proper exam when we get back.  Go wait in the Landy, you need to keep warm too.”

Becker nodded and headed towards the relative warmth of the car with the gear from the cabin. About ten minutes later the cabin door opened again and Connor, now dressed with a new parka on, left, followed by Ditzy. He trudged through the snow to the Landrover and pulled open the back door, climbing in next to Becker. He slammed the door and turned to look out of the window. Becker watched him out of the corner of his eye, then stared stoically ahead.

Ditzy climbed into the front passenger seat and the driver pulled slowly away from the cabin. Ditzy threw some food packages into the back seat and Becker nibbled on his as unenthusiastically as Connor appeared to be. On the drive back Becker and Ditzy talked mindlessly about the operation, Ditzy informing him that the anomaly was now closed and there was a team checking that there hadn’t been an incursion in the meantime. Connor was silent throughout and him being quiet for so long was strange to Becker’s ears.

Finally leaving the countryside behind, they got onto roads that had been mostly cleared of snow and after a couple of hours they made it back to the ARC. Ditzy jumped out of the Land Rover.

“Med bay, both of you.”

“But…” Becker started.

“No buts. Go to the med bay. Go directly to the med bay, do not pass go, do not collect £200.”

Ditzy put a hand on Connor’s shoulder, propelling him in front of him and nodded at Becker to follow.

“You do remember who the superior officer is don’t you, Lieutenant?” Becker asked dryly.

“Yes sir, of course sir. But you’re still coming to the med bay.”

Becker rolled his eyes and followed.

Entering the med bay, Ditzy pointed at a chair.

“Sit,” he directed to Becker, before guiding Connor into the examination room.

Becker acquiesced and sat and waited patiently for Ditzy to finish with Connor. A while later the exam room door opened and Connor came out. He thanked Ditzy and left, not looking at Becker. Becker stood and entered the exam room ahead of Ditzy.

He hoisted himself onto the exam table and let Ditzy take his wrist. The medic held it for about two seconds, dropped his arm and looked him in the eye.

“Congratulations, you’re fine.  Now what the fuck has happened to Temple? You spend years dreaming of him being that quiet and when it happens it’s just unnatural. He claims he’s fine; I don’t believe him.”

“I think yesterday was just a bit of a shock. Fighting creatures is one thing, but hypothermia is another. I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

“Hmm.” Ditzy didn’t look altogether convinced but didn’t push it. “Maybe you’re right. You know, you did a good job. He’s fine now, but by the sounds of things it could have been a lot worse. Now go home. I’ve cleared it with Lester for you to have the day off. I told Temple the same thing.”

“Thanks, Ditzy. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Becker jumped off the table and headed for the locker room. His civvies were still stashed there from his arrival at work the morning before.

The new shift had come on a couple of hours before so Becker expected to have the locker room to himself. However, he was less surprised than he should have been to see Connor sitting on a bench. Becker avoided his eyes and went straight for his locker.

“What’s going on, Becker?” Connor asked.

Becker winced. That was the last question he wanted.

“I’ve been told to go home until tomorrow and I believe you have too.  I suggest you have a good meal and get plenty of rest.”

“That’s not what I mean and you know it. Last night, this morning; you’re just ignoring all that now?”

Becker turned away from the lockers and looked at him.

“Connor, nothing happened last night, I was looking after you, trying to keep you warm. And this morning was a mistake, I was tired and you were vulnerable.”

“Something did happen last night; I was still awake and heard what you said and you kissed my head, so don’t tell me this morning was a mistake.”

“Listen to me, Connor; it was a mistake, the whole thing. I was concerned about you, I don’t deny that; you were in my charge, I’d be a bad soldier if I didn’t worry about the men in my control. But that is as far as it goes, Connor.”

“Becker, how can you say all that?”

“Because it’s the truth. You didn’t really think I wanted something to happen with you did you? Come on; I didn’t even want to be at the anomaly with you last night and I wouldn’t have been if I hadn’t lost the lot.”

Connor’s eyes widened.

“You lost the draw? That’s the reason you were with me? The person that loses stays with me?”

Connor grabbed his bag and fled the locker room, the look of hurt on his face twisting Becker’s stomach into a devastating knot.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Connor was lounging on the sofa, games controller in hand, engrossed in the images that flickered across the TV screen. There had been a brief verbal tussle with Abby earlier; she was supposed to be going out for a friend’s birthday but had said she would stay in and keep him company. Connor appreciated the gesture, Abby was a good friend, but he convinced her to go out and have fun while he stayed at home and killed things with a big sword.

When the door buzzer went he at first thought he’d ignore it, but when it rang a second time, he hit pause, pulled himself to his feet, and opened the front door.

Finding Becker on the other side was the last thing he was expecting.

“Um…hi…” Connor managed.

“I lied. I didn’t lose,” Becker blurted out.

“What?” Connor was somewhere the other side of confused.

“Pulling lots to stay on watch with you. I didn’t lose. After we did the draw I volunteered. I have no idea why. No, that’s a lie too. I wanted to spend time with you, Connor. There’s something about…oh, god, I don’t know.”

“But everything you said?”

“Bollocks, all of it. Listen, I realise I haven’t fallen in any ponds, but it’s still very cold out here. Any chance I can continue this apology inside?”

“No. You’ve been really horrid to me.”

“Oh. Right. You’re right. Okay. I am an idiot. I like you, I really do and that’s why I volunteered to stay with you. I just wanted to spend some time alone with you. But I never wanted or expected anything to happen between us.”

Connor quirked his eyebrows. As far as apologies went, this wasn’t brilliant.

“Not because I didn’t want it to,” Becker added hurriedly. “But because I didn’t think it was appropriate and I still don’t. I shouldn’t have said anything last night and I definitely shouldn’t have kissed you this morning, but honestly Connor, if anything had happened to you yesterday I don’t know what I would have done. And I am truly sorry that I hurt you.”

Connor studied Becker for a moment and came to a decision.

“It’s up to you Becker. If you think we, I, am worth giving a go, then come in and we’ll see what happens. If you don’t, then leave and we’ll say hello in passing. Just stop playing with me and either way, close the door.” Connor gave Becker a tight smile before turning and walking into the flat.

Connor stood in the middle of the lounge, his back to the doorway. At least a minute passed before he finally heard the front door shut behind him. Then he heard nothing. Connor’s head dropped in disappointment.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when two strong arms circled around his waist from behind and a pair of lips pressed against the side of his head.

“I lied about something else,” Becker said. “I do like to snuggle.”