My Sun Rises and Sets With You. Chapter 18/20: Break to Re-build

[jooles34]

Title: My Sun Rises and Sets With You. Chapter 18: Break to Re-build
Fandom: Primeval
Characters: Lester/Becker/Connor
Words: 3,301 this chapter, approx 40,000 for the series.
Rating, Warnings: 18. The whole series is about a Dom/switch/sub relationship and contains various BDSM themes.
Disclaimer: Nope, don't own Primeval.
Spoilers: None. Not set in any specific season.
AN: Huge thanks to the lovely lukadreaming for a great beta and to lsellersfic for my fabulous artwork.
AN2: Chapter one here. Previous chapter here

Lester sat on the sofa pretending to relax as they watched TV. Connor was seated on the floor at his feet, his head resting on Lester's thigh. Lester absentmindedly stroked his hand through Connor's hair, the action going some way to soothe them both. It had been a bad day. An incursion had cost the life of a civilian and two special forces men had lost their lives in the bid to prevent any more casualties. Lester had spent the latter half of the day making the phone calls he dreaded most in the world. While a liaison officer always went to break the news in person, Lester always felt compelled to phone too. It was a compulsion he regretted as the sobs of one grieving wife still rang in his ears.

Connor had let himself into the office and knelt by him when he was done and had not left his side since. Lester immediately started to feel more grounded, just by his boy’s presence at his feet.  He didn’t question Connor’s offering, the first of its kind since he had returned to them, but accepted it gratefully and quietly for what it was. He knew that Connor used to find a sense of peace and solace from the action and hoped he could take that now.

Becker had left them when the team had returned to the ARC, heading straight to the soldiers' wing with his men. Neither of them had tried to stop him. When it was finally time to leave for the night Lester had called the young captain who had informed him that he would be staying behind with his men. Again Lester hadn't pushed him.

Lester and Connor had come home and cooked together in near-silence. Connor had set the table for one before over-filling a plate and setting it on the table. He had once more knelt at Lester's side and allowed himself to be fed. And now they were here, both pretending that they weren't just listening for the sound of the key in the door.

Connor tried to remember when it had just been this, just been the two of them. He had been happy, very happy. But now it felt wrong. The flat seemed empty with just the two of them in it.

Finally the tell-tale sound of metal scraping metal announced Becker's return. Lester stood and turned towards him as he entered the room and Connor spun around from his position on the floor.

“Becker," Lester started.

Becker held up a hand, his face drawn.

"I need...I just need to go to bed." He looked towards them both but his gaze didn't meet either of their eyes. He turned and left the room.

Lester sat down heavily, washing a hand across his face.

Connor turned again to look up at him. "He needs you."

"You think we should go to him?"

"No. I think he needs you. He needs not to think and to lose himself."

"What about you?"

"Well, my x-box has been feeling terribly neglected lately." He smiled up at Lester. "Really, I'll be fine. I'll hang out in here for a bit then sleep in my room. Go. He needs you."

Lester leaned over and gave Connor a soft kiss. "I want you awake normal time and in with us, okay?"

"Wouldn’t miss it."

Lester stole another kiss before standing and heading for the bedroom.

Lester entered the bedroom and found Becker sitting on the edge of the bed, hands planted on his knees, head down.

"Stand up," Lester ordered.

"James," Becker replied wearily, not even looking up.

"Connor has elected to sleep in his room tonight and will join us as normal in the morning, so it is just the two of us tonight. Now I told you to stand up."

Becker looked up, a mixture of hope and fear on his face. He stood slowly, unfolding his lean body. He moved to stand in front of Lester and stood in the formal at ease position, but couldn't stop his head from lowering again.

Lester reached out a hand and gripped him under the chin, levering his head up until he looked at him. "Yes or no, Becker? No judgement or recriminations, just yes or no."

Becker swallowed. "Yes," he said quietly.

"Again."

“Yes, sir. Please."

"Right. First things first. Strip and get in the shower and get clean. You’re filthy and you stink. You will also prepare yourself. You have five minutes. For every ten seconds longer than that you take you will be punished. Am I clear?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good. Go."

Becker turned smartly and headed for the bathroom.  Lester waited until he was gone and took a deep breath. He checked his watch and then set about preparing the room.

 

Becker stood under the shower and let the water course over his body. His clothes lay in a pile in the furthest corner of the room. He tipped his head back and closed his eyes, exposing his face to the spray. When they had returned he had sent his team down to the showers to refresh themselves the best they could, but he had taken the time to start writing his reports while his shutters were still down enough that he could actually get through the damn things.

Despite his years as a soldier in conflicts around the world it never got easier. And it was the one thing he was pleased about. The day it stopped affecting him was the day he got out.

But this was his first moment alone and at least now the physical evidence of his day was starting to wash off his body. He tipped his head forward again and took in a deep breath, letting the water pound into the muscles of his back.

Then his current situation came flooding back to him. Shit. He only had five minutes, and that was...how long ago?  Shit. He grabbed a handful of shower gel and gave his body a cursory wash and used what was left in his hands to wash through his hair. Then he rinsed his hands clean of the soap and paid more attention to cleaning the more intimate areas of his body.

Deciding that he would be clean enough for Lester, he stepped out of the shower and dried himself off quickly with a large towel. He reached into the bathroom cabinet and pulled out a bottle of lube. He picked up some aftershave as well and considered it. He put it back, knowing that this wasn't the right sort of time and that Lester would prefer him free of anything fake right now.

He snapped open the lube and poured some onto his fingers. He reached around and in his haste was tempted to stretch himself quickly. But he already knew that tonight was going to be a rough ride and that if he hurt himself before they started then he would end up letting Lester down. And the last thing he needed was to let anyone else down.

So he stretched himself as slowly as he dared, filling his body and preparing his entrance with plenty of lube.

He finished by washing his hands and running a comb quickly through his hair. He bolted from the bathroom and found Lester standing in the centre of the room, watching the bathroom door, his hands behind his back. Becker went straight to him and knelt at his feet, head bowed, hands flat on his knees. This was not as usual for him as it was for Connor and it seemed unnatural to do it alone, and yet it felt right somehow.

Becker heard a sigh from above him.

"Six minutes 56 seconds. That's not very good now, is it, Becker? Let's call it seven minutes, shall we? Round up the punishment." Becker swallowed and felt his breath catch in his chest.

"Stand up."

Becker obeyed instantly.

"Stand still. I want to look over what is mine."

Becker stood and Lester walked slowly around him. Even with his head down he could feel his body being scrutinised, examined. He imagined Lester was taking pleasure from looking at his body, but sneaking a look at the other man’s face he saw a purely clinical expression. Becker felt a sudden and unexpected rush of gratitude at the reminder that someone cared whether he was hurt or not.

However, when Becker’s eyes flickered to the bed he was forced to question if Lester’s concern for his physical well being was purely altruistic. Lying on top of the covers was the heavy, thick-handled black flogger he had used on Lester. The fronds were long and slim and Becker swallowed. He remembered the welts they had etched across Lester’s skin and for a second Becker considered bringing the whole thing to a halt; tell Lester no, use his safe word, dress, flee and run back to his empty flat. But he stayed silent and still and let Lester continue his perusal of his body.

Lester’s voice came from behind him, "Move over to the wall. Stand two steps back and rest your hands on the wall, legs spread."

Becker did as instructed and Lester followed him over. He hooked a leg inside Becker's and tugged outwards. "Open more."

Becker complied, jerking slightly, almost losing his balance as Lester pulled at his leg. He was half-leaning over, hands braced on the wall to steady himself. He tried to keep his head up, level with his arms and tried to centre himself. He concentrated on his breathing, slowing it, trying to relax into the situation and relax his body.

He felt Lester move away from him, but a moment later he was back. Once Becker sensed Lester standing behind him again, though, the little control he had left him. His body tensed and his breathing hitched. Again he thought of stopping; just one word, one word would end it all. But then he felt Lester's hand on his back, warm and calming. He closed his eyes and Lester ran one hand over his skin, across his shoulders and down the muscles on each side of his back.

"It will soon be over, Becker. I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't think you needed it. Do you trust me to know what you need, Becker?"

Becker nodded.

"Say it." Lester demanded quietly, but firmly.

"I trust you, sir. I trust you to know what I need."

"Good boy."

And with that Lester stepped back once more and seconds later Becker felt the first impact of leather on skin.

The flogger hit him across the back of his shoulders. It stung and he bit back a gasp. It was followed by a second blow, and a third and a fourth. Becker braced himself, trying not to let his body rock forwards, teeth clenched to keep in any sounds. He knew Lester was holding back and that this was just the start. The blows came in quick succession, growing steadily heavier. The stinging sensation became more of a bite and Becker's skin grew red and hot.

 

Lester beat the flogger across the back of Becker's shoulders and down the muscle each side of his back. He gripped the leather handle firmly, wrist loose, being careful with his aim and the pressure of the blows he was inflicting. He tried to remember that this was all for Becker, what Becker needed, but as he watched the other man's skin grow red and watched as the other man started to come undone, groans and grunts now coming from him freely, he couldn't help his reaction.

Lester's cock was hard in the confines of his trousers. All he wanted to do was bury himself balls deep in the arse that was presented to him. He wanted to fuck him until Becker’s cries were louder and from pleasure as well as pain. But he held himself in check, watching for signs that Becker had had enough, keeping his aim true.

 

Becker was starting to lose himself inside his own head. He was heading for a place where all he focused on was the pain; the rest of the world and everything bad that happened in it had disappeared and his universe had shrunk to this; him, the wall, the bite of the flogger on his skin and the man who wielded it. His arms were shaking and he had lost all control over his responses and there wasn't a part of him that cared. He wanted Lester to stop, he wanted Lester to carry on. He wanted the pain to go away, he wanted more pain. He wanted to laugh and he wanted to cry. He hated Lester and he loved him.

 

Becker's skin was flushed and raised everywhere the flogger was striking him and Lester saw his arms start to tremble and Becker's moans were bordering now on sobs. He pulled back his arm and lowered the flogger, trying to control his own breathing which was ragged from excitement and exertion. He regarded Becker for a moment, watching his reaction. Becker tensed, the rhythm of the flogger now lost to him. Lester let the sense of anticipation linger a few long seconds longer, before speaking.

"We're done with the flogger, Becker. It's over now. But there is still the matter of your punishment to consider. You were two minutes late coming out of that bathroom and I do not accept insubordination. You were warned that there would be consequences and I am a man of my word."

Lester reached for his belt buckle and undid it. He pulled the slim leather belt from its loops and gripped the buckle end. He took his time and wrapped the belt around his hand.

“Do you know what I am doing, Becker?”

Becker shook his head.

“I can’t hear you. Do you know what I am doing?” Lester’s voice was firm.

“No, sir.”

“I am taking off my belt and I will be using it to deliver your punishment. For every ten seconds that you were late I said you would be punished. You were two minutes late. You will receive one strike for each ten seconds. How many strikes have you earned yourself by being late for me, Becker?”

Becker whimpered but managed to push out the answer. “Twelve, sir.”

“Good to see you are able to count even if you can’t keep time. You will count each strike out loud. If you miss one or lose count I will start again from one. Once you have counted to 12 strikes your punishment will be over. Do you understand me, Becker?”

Becker took in a gulping breath. “Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.”

Lester took his own deep breath to prepare himself, before snapping his hand forward and delivering the first blow across Becker’s arse. Becker flinched and let out a cry, but managed to recover enough to gasp out “one”. Lester paused for a second before delivering the next blow, watching Becker’s body involuntarily rock forwards when the second strike hit near the first one. But he got a sense of satisfaction from Becker grunting the number two through clenched teeth. Becker’s arse was now striped with two red, raised welts. Lester aimed the third blow further down, striking across the back of one thigh, but being careful not to wrap the leather around the inside of the leg.

As Becker counted Lester could see by Becker's stance, the set of his shoulders, the height of his head, that he hadn't lost himself completely. Whereas Connor had reached a point where he would have sunk deeply into subspace by now, Lester could see Becker's mind was still racing, refusing to give up and let him give in to the sensations.

Lester knew he couldn't take anything more from him tonight; he had to give Becker the release he was craving without taking anything for himself. Connor revelled in having his body used and gave himself over to it, but right now it would be an abuse of his power to do it to Becker and would make the soldier feel more wretched than before.

 

The last four blows fell in quick succession and Becker grunted with the effort of getting the last few numbers out. But he pushed out each one, determined that he wouldn’t give Lester the satisfaction of starting again from one. This was different to the flogging and Becker’s cock twitched in spite of himself. Blood was rushing to his groin as each strike hit him and he was suddenly irrationally angry at Lester for making his body respond in this way.

His back, arse and the tops of his thighs were alive with pain, his skin and nerve endings buzzing with heat. He wanted it to stop, wanted to turn around and shout at Lester, take his anger at his treacherous body out on the other man, take all his hurt and anger from the day and release it anyway he could, but before he had a chance to move two fingers drove themselves deep into his arse.

Becker rocked forward with a yell. His sweat-slicked hands slipped on the wall and he stumbled a step forwards until his chest and face were pressed up against the papered plaster. Lester was close behind him, crowding him to the side, but putting no pressure on the still singing skin on his back. The fingers in his arse pushed in deep again and this time his yell was less of one of surprise and more filled with need.

Lester’s hand was suddenly on his aching cock, fingers wrapped around the shaft, pulling in a fast rhythm, thumb playing over his head. The fingers in his arse found his prostate and hit it with each forward thrust from the hand. All thoughts of anger and of anything else fled Becker’s mind. His body gave up resisting and he leant heavily against the wall, his hips barely managing to thrust forwards and back as Lester fucked him hard with one hand and tugged at his cock with the other.

Becker’s orgasm hit him hard and suddenly. His mind seemed to white out as the world shrank so that the only things that existed were the duel sensations coursing around his body. He heard someone utter a hoarse scream but there wasn’t enough of his mind left to focus on if it was him or not.

He was dimly aware of the fingers pulling out from him and his spent cock being released. A strong arm caught him across the chest just as his legs started to buckle. He leant heavily on the arm and let himself be led backwards towards the bed, turned around and laid down on his front.

His head was fuzzy and blank and he was vaguely aware of the bed dipping next to him. Then something cold touched his back and gentle hands applied cool cream to his back, arse and thighs. He sighed into the pillow and let it all happen, his mind drifting every and nowhere at once.

 

Lester finished applying the cream and washed his hands before stripping off his clothes and walking to the thermostat. He made sure there would be enough heat in the room that Becker wouldn’t need a duvet for the night. Then he climbed onto the bed next to him.

Becker was lying facing him, his hands either side of his head. Lester reached over and took hold of the one in front of his face, moving his body as close to Becker as he could.

“Thank you,” Becker said without opening his eyes.

Lester squeezed Becker’s hand and decided that if Becker was going to ignore the tears that stained his cheeks, then he would too.

Chapter nineteen

 

Comments

[fredbassett]

OMG, poor Becker! This was wonderfully intense and just totally perfect. *huggles the lovely soldier boy*

[aoifes_isle]

*nom*

*pokes gently for kink-bang continuance*

[lukadreaming.livejournal.com]

Eek! Waah! That was seriously bloody intense! I read the whole thing holding my breath *g*.

[tay-21.livejournal.com]

Oh. Poor poor Becker. This was so beautifully done. All three of them were lovely. James and Becker flog each other well. :-) And good for Connor being secure enough in their broken relationship to let the two of them be there for each other.

[celeste9]

*hugs Becker* We are all so mean to him but he angsts so prettily!

I love how well they know each other, how Connor knows that Becker needs Lester (and can let them be together even after everything that's happened) and Lester knows how far to push. The opening image is lovely, I have such a ridiculous hair kink, it's very strange.

[telperion-15.livejournal.com]

Meep! That was pretty intense! But Lester takes good care of his boys...

[knitekat.livejournal.com]

Meep for poor Becker. Yay for the boys being worried and taking care of him - OK, Lester taking care of him, but Connor knew what Becker needed. *purrs*

[jaynedoll.livejournal.com]

That was gorgeously intense and yes, I love the way Connor is still able even after everything to let Lester and Becker have the time together that they need.

[deinonychus-1.livejournal.com]

Oh, that was completely, utterly wonderful and gorgeous and intense and heartbreaking and very, very hot at the same time. Poor broken Becker *huggles him very, very gently*. Lovely to see Lester and Connor taking care of him, and seeing Becker give up control like that.

It was such a great chapter, you almost distracted me from the distressing fact that there's only two chapters left!

[ebonyfeather.livejournal.com]

Aww, poor Becker!

Great chapter.

[fififolle]

Jesus!! I don't know what to say! But I wouldn't have missed it for the world!

[hab318princess.livejournal.com]

wow, love Lester's control here... awesome to see