Ramblings on difficult phonecalls

[jooles34]

You don’t really want to read this, it’s not very nice, I just had to get it off my chest.

I’ve just spent an hour on the phone to a very good friend of mine who lost a friend of hers at the weekend. The girl died in a gliding accident and my friend was at the airfield at the time. She’s spent time talking to people about the usual shock and grief stuff, but having been there when the accident happened she had a lot of stuff in her head that she needed to get out and spoken about.

Now, I know why she chose me. I spent years in the ambulance service and have heard and experienced most things you can imagine and many things you’d rather not. And, to boast entirely, I was damn good at my job. I talked a lot of people through a lot of difficult experiences. The things that I had to hear often weren’t easy, but I dealt with it, because that’s what training and experience does for you. So she knew I could take it.

But hearing all that from someone you love; hearing someone you care about having to say those things; knowing what they went and are going through, was completely different. I took it obviously, and just let her talk and talk and get it all out, but it was without doubt one of the most harrowing hours I’ve ever had. And still I know that however hard it felt for me, it’s still nothing like what she is going through.

And she’s too far away for me to do anything substantial for her so I still feel ultimately useless. All a very selfish way of reacting to what she is going through, but there you go.

Anyway, vented. Shall abandon RL again shortly and disappear back into the happy world of fanfic and flippancy.

 

Comments

[shamazipan.livejournal.com]

*hugs* You gave her an opportunity to let it all out and that's what she needed most. That's something substantial and will have helped her a great deal to get it off her chest.
*more hugs*

[jooles34.livejournal.com]

Thank you love, hugs and kind words are appreciated. <3

[ravenja1170.livejournal.com]

*hugs you* You haven't been useless, as you've been there for here when she needed you. I know from experience that this is what helps a lot even if it's "only" been a talk via the phone ... *another hug*

[jooles34.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for replying, means a lot. Hug and kind words are much appreciated.

[kausingkayn.livejournal.com]

-hugs-
You gave her an outlet, and was there, available, to be talked to when she needed it the most. Of course you did something.

[jooles34.livejournal.com]

Thanks mate, for the hugs and the kind words. And also for the icon that makes me smile in spite of myself.

[aviv-b.livejournal.com]

YOu gave her the most important thing in the world....time and a safe place to talk. that's not nothing, not by a long shot.

[jooles34.livejournal.com]

Wow, thank you. Firstly for taking the time to reply, but also for really kind words. Thank you.

[emyrldlady.livejournal.com]

*hugs* It sucks because you feel like you're not doing anything, but you really are. Sometimes they just have to verbal vomit all over you and they feel better. But afterwards, you just still feel kind of stinky.

[huskyfriends.livejournal.com]

You did what was needed and that means so much to her. Just you being there helps, especially someone who knows what it means. It took me a year to admit something about Mom's death to one of my cousins.

I wish I could do more than virtual **HUGS**.